Elon vs. Zuck - AI Celebrity Deathmatch.

Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg… Let’s get it on!

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I’m not ashamed to admit that Celebrity Deathmatch was one of my favourite late night shows in my teenage years. I am ashamed to admit the other late night shows I watched as a teenager, but that’s a story for another day. If you aren’t familiar with Celebrity Deathmatch, here is one of my favourite clay-made episodes in which Noel and Liam Gallagher finally have a fight to the death. (viewer discretion is advised).

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Like me, you are probably struggling with the ridiculous nature of celebrity boxing in the modern era, but it’s difficult to ignore the audience reach that two D listers get once they put on a pair of gloves. So on that basis it really is no surprise that the two biggest tech moguls are looking to drive traffic to their respective platforms by cuddling in an MMA ring for 15 minutes.

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Rather than take a chance on whether the fight will go ahead or not, we asked ChatGPT to predict the outcome of the fight in true Celebrity Deathmatch style!

So without further-ado… Let’s Get it on!

Camera zooms in on the Celebrity Deathmatch ring. Johnny Gomez and Nick Diamond, the show’s infamous commentators, are present.

Johnny Gomez: “Ladies and gentlemen, tonight’s match is one for the books! Two tech titans are about to face off in a battle of Silicon supremacy!”

Nick Diamond: “That’s right, Johnny! In one corner, we have the social media mogul, the Facebook phenom, Mark ‘Zuck’ Zuckerberg!”

Camera pans to Mark Zuckerberg, warming up by swiftly coding on a laptop. He looks focused.

Johnny Gomez: “And in the other corner, the Tesla titan, the SpaceX superstar, Elon ‘Rocket Man’ Musk!”

Camera shifts to Elon Musk, calibrating a mini rocket launcher. He gives a nod to the camera.

Nick Diamond: “This is gonna be electric, Johnny. No pun intended!”

DING DING

Both contenders approach the center. Elon tries to shoot a rocket, but Mark dodges and releases a drone from his pocket. The drone goes after Elon, flashing blinding lights.

Nick Diamond: “Zuckerberg’s drone seems to be straight from Facebook’s top-secret lab!”

Elon, however, pulls out a flamethrower (from The Boring Company) and shoots it at the drone, burning it to a crisp.

Zuckerberg activates a VR headset and suddenly, Musk finds himself fighting not one, but multiple virtual Zuckerbergs!

Johnny Gomez: “Incredible! Mark’s using VR to multiply himself!”

Elon, looking a bit flustered, suddenly stops and starts tweeting rapidly. Moments later, a group of hardcore Elon fans storm into the arena, charging towards the virtual Zuckerbergs.

Nick Diamond: “The power of Twitter, ladies and gentlemen!”

With the arena in chaos, Mark takes a deep breath and activates a portal to the “Metaverse”. The entire ring transforms into a digital battlefield. Mark and Elon are now in avatars, shooting lasers, and coding real-time power-ups.

Elon’s avatar quickly transforms into a Cybertruck, ramming into Mark. But Mark counters, transforming the Metaverse into a serene forest.

Johnny Gomez: “Zuckerberg’s trying to play mind games, calming the atmosphere!”

Elon’s avatar begins to glitch, looking around in confusion. Suddenly, a SpaceX Starship descends, its door opens, and out walks a robotic-looking Musk.

Nick Diamond: “Is that… is that Neuralink Elon?”

Neuralink Elon is fast and precise. He manages to dodge every one of Mark’s attacks. Mark, realising his Metaverse isn’t going to cut it, exits and returns to the real world, pulling out an Oculus Quest 2.

Throwing it towards Elon, it wraps around his head. Neuralink Elon freezes, looking trapped in the VR world. Mark rushes up, poised to deliver the final blow…

But suddenly, Grimes’ music starts playing. Neuralink Elon, powered by the beat, breaks free from the Oculus’s grasp, sending Zuckerberg flying with a powerful uppercut.

Final Round

Zuckerberg and Musk, now exhausted, look for their final strategies. Zuckerberg initiates a “Facebook Live”, wherein millions of users start pouring in, giving him energy and power.

Elon counters by launching the Tesla Roadster into space, causing a massive sonic boom that throws Zuckerberg off balance.

Johnny Gomez: “This is it! The climax of one of the most epic battles in Celebrity Deathmatch history!”

Both, almost simultaneously, harness the energy of their respective fan bases. Zuckerberg, powered by billions of social media users worldwide, and Elon, fuelled by his fans and the vision of a multi-planetary future.

The two forces collide in a blinding light…

DING DING DING

Nick Diamond, squinting: “What just happened?”

Johnny Gomez, shielding his eyes: “It’s a… it’s a tie! The energy from both titans neutralised each other!”

The two tech moguls, panting and clearly out of energy, nod at each other in mutual respect.

Elon Musk: “Guess we’ll have to settle this on Twitter.”

Mark Zuckerberg: “Or in the Metaverse.”

The crowd roars in approval, having witnessed a match that’ll be talked about for ages.

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With rumours of the fight being streamed live on X and on Meta, it’ll likely be the most watched sporting event in history… even if it won’t be as exciting as a Celebrity Deathmatch version…

Team Fuelled.